you guys were way drunker than both of me
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
