dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
