I accidentally had phone sex last night
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
