her vagine was all disorganized.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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