oh god the rape fog is back!
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
