He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
