well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
