Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
