I just gift wrapped bread.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize