Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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