now i know why i became what i already was.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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