I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
