I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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