I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
