u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she smelled like a LAN party
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
