it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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