Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
