I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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