It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
