I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
