like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
