4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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