problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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