What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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