I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
