it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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