What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
