I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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