My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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