i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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