3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
