By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
