If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
