Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

another moral hangover. fuck.

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(708): View more from Illinois

he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet

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(616): View more from Michigan

This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.

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(702): View more from Nevada

We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.

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(213): View more from California

Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I feel like a drive thru vagina

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(856): View more from New Jersey

it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU

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