you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dating After Heartbreak
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.