her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
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I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
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Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.