Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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