ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
