but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
