another moral hangover. fuck.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
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Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
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I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU