i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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