so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
