My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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