i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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