Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I smell stomach acid.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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