Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
