I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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