Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize