There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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