fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
