I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
