Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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