my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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