I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
