Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I believe in your delicious
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
