thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
