you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize