Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
