New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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