Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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