Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
