We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
