I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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