drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
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I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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